Princess Sissi ♡

17th May 2013

My dearest Sissi,

It's been a year since our last 'goodbye'.

A whole year. A year filled with tears, laughter, love, new friendships, new sorrows. A year full of new lies and harsh truths. And in that year, you became a spirit, a guardian of my own little galaxy. 

I don't know exactly what to say to you. How to let the grief pass. 'Cause everytime life slaps me in the face, you're the only thing that comes to mind. How overwhelmingly cruel life can be, and how bizzardely accurate that saying is: 'Life goes on'. 

I won't lie to you. Lately things have been rough. The dynamic of the family has shifted and the world you and I grew up in, it has all been turned into something strange and unsacred. Nothing is the same since the day you left us, and yet somehow everything is still so very much on a stand-still. 

An aching heart though, I've learned, is stronger than you'd think. The heart, this heart, is so big, it can fit an endless number of beatings and scars, and still have the willpower to go on and love again. This was my year. This is what happened since you last looked at me with those big brown eye-liner eyes of yours and told me "It's okay, it will be okay, you will be okay, once I leave. I promise." 

You were right. I was okay. Somehow. 

Now don't think that just because another spirit flew into my wanton arms, you have been replaced. Nothing of the sort. My heart will always travel with yours into eternity. Into tiny myriads of constellations living a life of freedom and total love. 

I'm sure by now, you are finding this eternal 'resting' part wholesome and liberating, and at last, you're wholeheartedly happy that you got to live a life filled with so much love. 

To this my darling Sissi, I want you to know that, you were the most loved. And that mom was there for you till the very end to guide you into your new journey. 

It may sound silly to grieve still, 'cause I know, that now you're free and this is exactly what you deserved. 

And I know, that everytime this heart feels down-troden and unforceful to go on, somehow your spirit replenishes it and pumps it to whithstand all the unhappiness and the injustice being done to it. Somewhere in the darkness, you hold me so tight, that I simply can't-let-go. Not of the sadness, but of the light. 

In the years to come, I know that time will slowly ease the pain, and that somehow, this aching heart will find soothness and new-found glory. To this, I am making you the promise, that the heart may ease, but it shall never forget the footprints you left instilled in it. This is your legacy. Your memories in my heart, that will go on for the end of time. Should our spirits meet again, they will know one another, because we were loved by soul and spirit. 

I love you eternally, my Princess Sissi. My friend, my love, my confidant, my pain, my sorrow, my  glory, my everything (plus one). 

May you're resting in peace. Mommy is always with you, watching over you...

"εκεί που πολεμάνε και πεθαίνουν οι ανθρώποι για έναν καινούργιο  κόσμο. 

Εκεί -

θα σε περιμένω." ♡

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